Faces
Recently, I had a moment with myself, realizing all the things me and my Self could do together. My Self has always been there for me. So sweet.
And I realized that I am more my Self now than ever and growing more so each day. How strange that when I look in the mirror, I see a melting face. Everyday, I notice another sign of age. The me I was, the me I thought I would or should be, is melting away. It seems unfair and also, oddly, exactly right.
I took a bunch of self-portraits the other day. I can’t believe how many faces I have. I look at the pictures and find it hard to believe all those faces belong to one person.
I have an art project in mind. Something based on the 99 names of God, 100 minus one. I wonder if I could make a face for each one of them. The last name, the missing name, is “I am…” at least, that’s my interpretation.
I hope to meet me, once in my life, in some way I sense has yet to happen. At the same time, I know I meet me every day. I’m grateful for that.
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February 28th, 2010 at 2:16 pm
sometime after i fractured vertebrae in my 2nd chakra I managed to lose my self. it was hell.
another ‘time’ I managed to open up to some/all? of Self. it was heaven.. with the slightest hint of hell for just a moment on my way out of it. when/why did the ‘west’ stop training for this? maybe a crash course is necessitated by our position on the timeline.
now i feel in between, but with perspective and motivation. this ‘quickening’ going on is intense w/its daily life changing epiphanies/paradigms/steps. luckily there seems to be balance in the speed and the digestibility of all the new info(novelty)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vtnV25LWFQ8&feature=related
February 28th, 2010 at 2:37 pm
I totally agree with you on the point of training. But if you listen to the teachings, past and present, they’re stunningly simple. “Get out of your own way. Let go. Flow.” Fuck, did these people have libidos? Did they eat? I mean, I get it. But sometimes I just don’t.
February 28th, 2010 at 4:07 pm
maybe thats the next level.. running on all chakras/cylinders in balance! yeah.. why would a fully activated/balanced sex or survival chakra/cylinder not fire in tune w/the rest? is more like a river and we need to perfect/open these gates in order from *base* to *crown*?
February 28th, 2010 at 5:35 pm
I know. Its a total pain in the ass. If I were happy to stay at the root-level that would be easy. I’d just kill or fuck someone. Its kind of sick – that base energy. But its there and you can’t get past it. Have to work with it.