I had a strange experience last night. When I meditate lately, I get feelings and visuals and not words. Hard to articulate.

A few weeks ago, I came across this site which is full of information on metaphysical stuff. It has a bit about the seven chromatic rays. I looked up my year. I’m a purple ray. And it said something that has been so true in my life.

As an “Id-controlling Force” this Ray lends it’s Natives a natural skill at PSYCHOANALYSIS…until the young Purple Ray Native understands what makes it ‘tick’ and how to control it. Naturally this leads to a quite “behaviorist” approach to the waking world as well, giving the youngster a skillful insight into the motivations and hidden purposes of their playmates, friends and family-members. This CAN lead to some problems!, until others realize that they are not being told what to BE, but rather merely “figured-out” for future reference.

That bit about “others realizing that they are not being told what to be, but merely figured-out for future reference.” I’ve spent a lot of my time and energy in that loop. Understanding someone; wanting them to understand themselves. Often beating on a closed door.

Where was I? How was I using my own energy and insight to create my own life? I was worried about others understanding. Where was my dream for myself in that pattern?

That’s when the weird moment happened. I started thinking about the things I could and can do for myself. Like a trip to Spain I want to take. The physical sensation I got just thinking about the gifts I could give myself was air; an expansiveness in my chest. And when that air lifted through a blue narrowing in my throat and up, I got visuals of white and rainbows. Compared to the root chakra experiences, this was a very subtle sensation.

I’m tired lately. I’ve been sleeping 10+ hours a night. I’m not going to worry. I’m going to rest. I won’t really wake-up without a dream, an intention, for myself.